2° of Separation

By Jay Kerner

You probably know about the party game from a few years back, called 6 Degrees to Kevin Bacon or some variation thereof. The way it works is someone picks an actor, let’s say …. oh, Wilfred Brimley. Well, before old Wilred got famous as an oatmeal pitchman, he was in The China Syndrone with Michael Douglas. Michael was in You, Me & Dupree with Harry Dean Stanton. Harry was in The Green Mile with Gary Sinise, who was in Apollo 13 with Kevin Bacon. The player that makes the connection in the fewest moves wins.

How Mr. Bacon became the pivot man for this particular exercise is irrelevant. It’s more a demonstration of the concept that someway or another, everyone in the entertainment industry is connected.

I was reminded of this the other day, in a business meeting. We were discussing mutual acquaintances and the gentleman said something to the effect that I must know everybody in town. I assured him this wasn’t true, but admitted that I probably did know somebody, that knew anybody he could name. (Full story)

Posted by: admin on Saturday, December 27th, 2008
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Have Yourself a “Joey” Little Christmas

By Jay Kerner

OK, I admit it; I’m not the biggest Christmas guy.

Every year I get a little overwhelmed by the Christmas commercialism that starts earlier and earlier. I’m sorry, but I shouldn’t be listening to Jingle Bells Norelco commercials while I’m still mowing grass in October.

Maybe my seasonal disorder just serves to balance out my wife’s holiday overload. I’m sure there are lots of others just like her but frankly, the inside of my house looks like Christmas exploded in there. The woman has enough holiday sweaters that she could just about wear one every day of the year with no repeats. It’s no wonder a guy gets a little “hum-buggy.”

I’m not talking about the whole religious “reason for the season.” The churches work hard to keep that message front and center in our collective consciousness, and your own personal clergy professional is far more qualified than I to comment on it. But let’s face it; compared to the Santa pushers, they’re undermanned and underfunded. Jesus may be the answer, but he’s not getting any face time in the Best Buy sale ads. (Full story)

Posted by: admin on Friday, December 12th, 2008
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Taking Care of Number One

By Jay Kerner

This holiday season will be one of the strangest in recent memory. Retailers are nervous. The stock market is in the toilet. The price of gas rose to an all time high this fall, before teasing us with lows not seen for several years, though projections call for it to go back up soon. Most people I talk to are re-thinking all the financial decisions in their lives, and certainly included in this is their holiday spending.

f you’ve been a regular reader of The Regular Joe, you know our position on buying local. Whether we’re talking tires or tenderloins, jeans or jewelry, spending your precious dollars here in town with locally owned, locally operated businesses, is vital to our community like never before. (Full story)

Posted by: admin on Friday, November 28th, 2008
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Caveman Weekend ‘08

by Jay Kerner

If you’ve been reading us for a while, you might remember how some friends and I get together every fall for a little Bacchanalia fest we call “Caveman Weekend.” Our motto: booze, bikes and bullets, but never more than 2 at a time.

 

Many of the attendees are… let’s call them gun aficionados. Rifles, hand guns, assault weapons. Let me tell you, this little patch of the

USA had no fears of terrorism during our get together. Just to be sure, many rounds of ammunition were spent in readiness drills. Numerous pumpkins, squash and gourds of various shapes and colors went to be with their makers.

 

As word of Caveman Weekend expands from year to year, new arrivals compete for precious bed space. To settle minor disputes without the use of the assembled arsenal in anger, Cave came up with a shooting contest to assign sleeping arrangements. It took me four shots to knock the Mr. Peanut can from the stump, which got me the couch. Whatever! (Full story)

Posted by: admin on Thursday, November 13th, 2008
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Regular Joe’s First, “First Fridays” Dec 5th

Regular Joe’s First, “First Fridays” Dec 5thArtists and Venues – Sign Up Now! 

As we mentioned in the last issue, we’re not above stealing good ideas. Apparently there’s a lot of that going on, because I’ve found out that a lot of cities do some sort of a First Fridays Art Crawl. I don’t know who originally came up with the brainchild or who first coined the phrase, but this is a concept used successfully all over the country. We were going to try to come up with something original on our own, but the best we came up with was “Wear Your Underwear on the Outside Day.” As intriguing as that idea is, we thought maybe we’d save that promotion for warmer weather, so all the unmentionables wouldn’t be hidden by parkas and overcoats. 

First Fridays:  The idea is that artists (painters, sculptors, photographers, etc) bring their work Downtown and show it in various locations within a small walking radius. The public (that’s you!) says “What a great idea! Let’s go look at some art!” 

You go and you see some cool art. Maybe you find a nice piece to replace the “Dogs Playing Poker” over the sofa. (I know, its classic kitsch, but it’s time, really!) And then maybe you meet some friends and stop for an adult beverage, with some intelligent conversation at one of the fine establishments, which in a happy coincidence are right there, and nicely arranged for your convenience. (Full story)

Posted by: admin on Thursday, November 13th, 2008
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For Tons of St. Joe Kids “Barney” was The Clown!

By Jay Kerner

PBS had an excellent documentary a few years back called Whizzo, Old Gus and Me, about the history of children’s television in the Kansas City market. For a kid growing up in St. Joe in the 60’s and 70’s it brought back a lot of memories. They talked not only of the afore mentioned, but also of Torey Southwick, Bozo and

Romper

Room

School. They even had a short segment on KFEQ’s Bumbles the Clown, and Beauregard Bummy. It was weird how the theme songs came back to me even though I hadn’t heard them in 40 some odd years.

For kids back then, if you weren’t watching local programs, there were also the national shows like Captain Kangaroo and Mr. Rodgers. I just missed out on Sesame Street but for those 45 and younger, it was probably part of your childhood experience. The production values were quite a bit higher, but for local flavor you couldn’t beat the kids shows shot in your hometown.

Here in Joe Town there is one name that stands floppy-red-wig to gigantic-oversized-shoes above any other in children’s television history, and that is my good friend “Barney the Clown.”  St. Joseph resident Al Smith portrayed the title character on St. Joe Cablevision through virtually the entire decade of the 70’s.

 Cable television was a new technology in the 1960’s when it first came to town. A lot of people don’t realize that we got it here far earlier than other much larger cities. With only one broadcast station here, and the K.C. stations providing a snowy picture from “rabbit ear” antennas, cable offered not only a clear picture, but also a whole new palette of TV choices. Imagine, we now had 13 channels! (If you counted channel 3, which just had the camera going side to side past a clock, thermometer and weather gages.)

The FCC had rules back then requiring cable systems to provide a certain amount of local programming, so in addition to the exercise show and Bill Bennet’s Outdoor beat, we also got our daily dose of Barney. (No, we’re not talking purple dinosaur). But before the clown business, there was the music business.

Al Smith started playing saxophone professionally at age 14 and toured the

Midwest playing through the big band era in a 32 year career in music. Along the way he started clowning as a family activity. The original show was “Barney and

Clyde” with wife Jo, and visits from the Smith’s two older daughters as Buttercup and Bobo. The girls grew up and moved on. When Jo hung up her wig after the births of daughters three and four Al did the show himself for the last several years of it’s run, as “Barney’s Circus Lot.” (Full story)

Posted by: admin on Thursday, November 13th, 2008
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Pimpin’ for Jerry

By Jay Kerner

 

I’ve talked a little in the past about my oldest daughter.  She lives on the east coast and contributes the occasional Joe Green piece for us.  She’s funny and cool and her mother and I are quite proud of her. Today however, I’m going to tell you a  little about her younger sister.  We call her B.

B, unfortunately, suffers from a terrible curse.  Sadly, she looks (and sometimes thinks) just like her old man.   The Horror!  Believe me, nothing gives her greater pleasure than for some stranger to walk up and say “boy, you’re a regular little Jay Junior!” (Full story)

Posted by: admin on Wednesday, October 22nd, 2008
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Serving Up A Better St. Joe!

By Jay Kerner

 

Every once in a while I catch myself falling into traps of negativity. One of our stated goals is to be “Pro-Joe” but it’s so easy to find negative things to write about. You don’t have to look that far. In fact you don’t have to look at all. The TV, the radio, the internet and daily papers all dish up a steady diet of doom and gloom. “If it bleeds it leads” isn’t just a joke for most media folks. Feel good stories are sometimes a little harder to come by. That’s why I was so pleased when this one came across my desk.

 

St. Joe is blessed with a caring, compassionate population. Individual charity funds are generously supported and our

United Way

campaign is a regular part of the fabric that makes up our community. (Full story)

Posted by: admin on Friday, October 17th, 2008
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Joe Turns One! Now What?

By Jay Kerner

 

Well, we did it! We made it through our first year. 26 issues. 456 pages. Over a quarter of a million words! Quite a few of them mine.

 

When I got the call about 14 months ago inviting me to be part of this adventure, I wasn’t sure exactly why they wanted me. My experience as a published writer was limited to a couple of submissions to a now defunct paper. Prior to that, I hadn’t written anything since college, beyond the annual Kerner Family Christmas letter. Speaking of college, I was giving some thought to taking a class or two this fall.

 

I went out to Missouri Western a couple of weeks ago to pull my transcript. When I went to the registrar’s office and made my request, the lady said, “No problem. Let me pull it up on the computer.” After a few minutes frowning at the screen, she turned back and said, “Sorry, your records are so old, they were written in pencil on index cards. We have to get them out of storage.” (Full story)

Posted by: admin on Saturday, October 4th, 2008
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My Own Personal “Old Joe”

 by Jay Kerner

One of my favorite movies is the Tim Burton classic, “Big Fish.” If you’re not familiar with it, I highly recommend it. It is the story of a father and son and their strained relationship. The son resents what he thinks of as his father’s tall tales from his earlier days. I don’t want to give away the ending, but I will tell you that by the end of the movie, the son comes to realize that the stories about you are what endure long after you are gone. If the stories are good enough, they get passed on through future generations until you achieve immortality.

I was thinking about this movie recently and how it applies to the most immortal member of my own family, my great-grandfather, Dr. Joseph Hughes.

 

Docie, as everyone in our extended clan referred to him, was a patriarchal figure if there ever was one. When he passed away around my ninth birthday it was the first majorly traumatic event in my young life. I had spent a lot of time with him and “Granny” and had a lot of my own memories of the man, including gobs of stories that I heard straight from the horse’s mouth. Over the years, it’s been amazing to hear the sheer volume of wild tales about him from my large and admittedly exuberant extended family. None of our gatherings of any kind, be it wedding, funeral, holiday or reunion, is complete without the telling of some Docie stories. (Full story)

Posted by: admin on Saturday, October 4th, 2008
Filed under: Jay Kerner, Old Joe, General | 2 comments

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