By Bob Shultz
There is no better summertime experience then the Drive-In.
Hands down… Okay, outside sailing the Pacific coastline, it is the one, consistent, warm weather activity that helps me erase the days’ pressures and surrender myself to the simple idea of enjoying the moment.
There is something magical about it, something Zen…. and ironically, it is so basic: watching movies under the stars.
As a “Generation Xer” I feel very grateful that some of my earliest “moviegoing” memories are that of safely sitting in “Shultz Family Truckster” and suddenly being mentally transported to a whole different world… several worlds, in fact.
I could be right in the middle of an alien attack and after intermission be dodging a great-white shark as it turns spoiled rich kids in chum. All from the safety of a lawn chair or nestled behind my Dad’s driver seat. I’m glad to say that this is a magical experience that hasn’t been lost in my cynical adult years.
We are SO lucky to have this huge slice of Americana right here in the land of Regular Joes… and as another Drive-In season approaches, I’m dusting off my lawn chair, tuning up my radio, grabbing my Frisbees and getting ready for another full season of simple, affordable excitement with friends and family.
One problem: Murray.
You may remember Murray. He is the non-gendered, non-racial biased, moviegoer that will ruin everyone’s experience. A few weeks ago in this fine publication we explored the role of socially-incepted Murray and how he, she, THEY could ruin the theatre going experience with cell phones, loud talking and other bodily functions.
Even though the social rules at a Drive-In are far less informal, a certain level of protocol is expected. Okay, let’s just call it what it is: Common Freakin’ Sense. Hey Luke, Put Down your Light saber!Laser-Pointers. No reason to have them, no reason to bring it to the Drive-In. End of story.
If you’re this Murray, I will have NO sympathy when you’re drawn and quartered by the rest of the audience. It’s a dark place, its outdoors, there are cars everywhere… your body will never be found- Enough said, you complete self-centered Jackass.
NOTE: Drive-In owners will commonly shutdown the movie until the Laser-flashing stops and the offending Murrays are kicked out. Pointers are ridiculously easy to find IN COMPLETE DARKNESS, Moron.
Early Birds get the best spots Hey Murray… the Sun rises and falls pretty consistently… plan ahead. It always amazes me to see the amount of cars that are pulling into a Drive-In in nearly, complete, darkness. And almost as a rule… it’s the same Murray’s who honk their horns, flash their lights and raise a fuss about not finding the “best” spot. Buy a watch Murray… better yet…turn your head to the west and note when that big, bad ball is going down.
Radio kills the Video StarThe days of the small, window speakers are over. Today’s Drive-In pipes the sound right into your car through the radio. Amazing, isn’t it? Well, it is… until you park next to a Murray who gets bored with the movie and decides to listen to his own tunes. Conform! Nothing ruins the Good-time vibe like that one. If you don’t like the movie, turn off your radio and take a nap until the next feature.
Common Sense Okay… being outside, sitting in lawn chairs, et al, is a cool way to watch a movie. But you know what? It is still a movie theatre. A place where everyone has consideration of the person next to them who has paid for the opportunity to be there and hopefully forget about worries of life for a while.
Have some common sense, Murray… Keep your voice down when next to other strangers, leave your car horn alone, take the change you’ve been saving for a laser pointer and spend it on the best popcorn in town, breath in the fresh-air and enjoy the simple pleasures that only an outdoor theatre can bring. Laugh out loud, dance a little, sing in unison with the cheesy intermission jingles like, “Let’s all go to the lobby”
Grab your flip-flops, your blankey and your best friends… Summer’s here and the time is right for Americana that is as pure as it was back in the days of Route 66.